"I have a lot of questions for ___. But I realized, we don't always get answers -- we don't always get closure -- that sometimes, we have to create the closure ourselves."
Goodbyes hurt, and so does endings. When someone you truly adore bids his last wave and turns his back on you, every memory you have built with that person will flash right before your eyes -- as if you're watching your own life with him -- And it will kill you. Trust me.
And when that happens, all you will think is, what if you walked away with him? When he shut the door and left, what if you ran after him? When he told you he loves you no more, what if you hugged him and say he's just lying? When he said the most painful goodbye, what if you refused? Will you have the 'closure' you ever wanted?
That night, when the two of you decided to end everything you have started, what if you changed your mind? What if you decided not to throw such relationship? What if... Just what if... Will you be happy?
But the thing is, sometimes, we don't have to hold on. Sometimes it's better to let go than to stay. Because sometimes, giving up is the right-est choice we could ever choose. Not because we're weak, nor because we lost our feelings for them, but because we know what we deserve -- That is what I learned.
It takes strength to fight and to stay in a relationship that has ended even before it started. But it takes courage to let go and admit that you're only human -- you can't fix everything. And as humans, we too, get tired of fighting and waiting and wishing for something far from impossible -- we too, need to be saved.
If the pain is too much, we don't always have to endure. If the amount of tears is more than the amount of smiles, it's time to stop and walk away. And if all the promises turned into stones, when all the late night talks turned into fights, when all the sweet endearments turned into shouts, when all the hugs and kisses turned into scars and bruises, and all the I love you's turned into I hate you's, remember to love yourself. If you managed to be brave to stay, be brave enough for yourself and walk away. Let go. You deserve better.
Enduring pain is not always worth it. Staying is not always the best resort. Love is not always right. Especially if it starts hurting you more than making you happy.
Let him leave if he wanted to -- even if it takes away your right for closure. Because sometimes, we don't need them to give it to us. We just need ourselves to make our own closure -- Our own decision to end things -- to close things.
I'm not going to lie. It won't be easy. But trust me, it will be for the best.
Goodbyes hurt, and so does endings. But sometimes, things have to end for better things to begin. And sometimes, we need to learn how to endure the pain of goodbyes to enjoy the pleasure of new hello's.
You see, I still have a lot of questions for ___. But I realized, answers don't just come easily. And I realized, maybe I don't need the answers now. Maybe I just need to know that I'm worthy of another love -- the kind of love that won't and never keep me from knowing the truth -- because I deserve it.
And to everyone who was left behind without a proper closure, we all deserve more. So go give yourself one! Stop thinking about all the what if's. Be thankful you didn't ran after him when he left. Because... We deserve someone who will love us enough not to leave. Be strong. Move on. Create your own closure... And be happy. You deserve it. :)
♥
