How 2013 made me ready to move on

2013 was hell of a year.

I was dead -- or, at least that was what I felt. I know I have a heart, but I didn't feel it beating. I know I have a soul but I didn't know where in this whole world it wandered. I smiled, but I wasn't really happy. My eyes grew so tired of watering -- there were days I couldn't cry anymore but I was in deep hurt. I was paralyzed. I was dead. I was exhausted.

I have never been good at saying goodbyes. I despise it from the bottom-est part of my being. I suck at it. But, eleven months before, on the 17th of January at approximately 3 am, I did the most terrifying decision -- I initiated a break up. 

And it felt painful after. I wanted a comeback. But I stood by my decision. I constantly told myself that I'm just as okay as I was before he came. Everyday I reminded myself that there's more to life than our life together. I listened and sang happy songs just to shift my emotionally-unstable mood to cheery. It was hard. Extremely difficult.

I went through the whole process of moving on. Perhaps, not only once, but everyday of my life since then. The depression, the denial, the anxiety, the sleepless nights, the wet pillows, the cold mornings -- everything. Although this may not be really obvious to some people who know me, but I fought. I did my best to erase almost impossible to forget memories. From deleting his mobile number, to faking a smile each day. I fought hard to forget.

Until today... Because today, I stop fighting -- because today, I felt happy.

I didn't find someone new. I don't even have a crush on someone right now... Okay, maybe I do. But my point is, I'm not in love or falling in love with anyone at this moment. I'm just happy. Period.

I stumbled upon an article about letting go and moving on last week. Every word seem to describe a familiar situation. It was as if written exactly for me. The word play, the given instances, seemed to talk to me. Until it said, "I felt alive again because of you". It felt wrong. I felt wrong.

I counted months to feel this happiness I'm feeling, again. And somehow, upon reading that article, it made me think; Is my happiness at stake or, incorrect, because it is not fueled by someone special? Am I mistaking this 'happiness' to something opposite? To something fragile? To something... wrong?

I thought about it. And thought about it. Then stopped. I realized, no -- I'm not wrong. I realized that one's happiness -- or, one's feeling of being alive, is not dependent on anyone but himself. And himself alone. I smiled. That moment, I knew, I'm truly alive. I'm truly, undeniably, happy. Even without anyone saying I'm beautiful, or, that I'm his only one. At least, I know I can live without it... Again.

Besides, it's been almost a year since that tragic break-up. It's about time.

And, when I look back at the year I had in 2013, I couldn't say it was a flop. Credits are earned. Things are accomplished. Lessons are learned. Hard work payed off. Should I be ungrateful to such? Of course not. This year may be mixed with hell and heaven, but it sure was good.

So when 2014 happens, I'm pretty positive that I will be the better-me version -- that I will know better. As I rip the last page on the 2013 calendar, I will, too, throw every heartache, sorrow, and troubles I had. I will be happier.

Also, with the incoming year, I will be the 'yes' girl -- welcoming every opportunity, accepting challenges and conquering them. If, by any chance, I can't conquer them all, at least I did try. Right? 

I may became a little cynical this year -- and I'm not promising to not be in 2014, but I will work on embracing love again. I have always saw love as something beautiful. I want to have that outlook again.

But, unlike the 'me' before, who was aggressive and a go-getter for love, now, I will leave most to fate and faith. If the universe forbids it, then I'll stay away from it. But, if the heavens conspire to make me a breathtaking love story, then who am I to refuse? 

2013 has been a crazy wild ride but I'm thankful. I grew tougher, stronger, braver. It molded and prepared me for the future trials and difficulties I will soon face. It made sure that when 2014 comes, I'll be just fine. 

What happens in this year, will stay in this year. However, the lessons I learned and the memories I made will be forever treasured. The new friends and new relationships I built can come along to my better (I'd like to use better more that new, because I'm still me) adventure next year. And the people who left, the untied knots, the painful endings, can be cozy and stay as long as they want in 2013. :)

This was hell of a year. And I'm pretty sure I'm ready to move on to heaven-ish year in 2014.

How about you?

♥

Hey, daydreamer.

"Okay class, bring out your papers... Surprise quiz!" 

Oh isn't this such a pleasant day, huh, readers? Look at this middle aged man, with one button opened because his coat couldn't hide his fats anymore, with hair maybe like, 4 strands of it remaining... Haha! Seriously... And turn your eyes to that beard! Ugh. Couldn't imagine how his wife sleep with that every night. I mean, it just looks... Forest-ty! I'm pretty sure forest-ty is not a word but hey, it does describe his beard hell a lot easier. C'mon Mr. Delos Santos, how can you demand love from your students if you're --

"Anne!!" Uh-oh. "Haven't you heard me?!" Gosh! How long have I been staring at this old hag? What was he asking for us to get again? I forgot... Tsk. What was it? Hey, don't just read, help me out here!!!!

Then he shouted in great grief, "Get your paper and we'll --" 

Oh that was it!! "PAPER!!! Haha! Yeah... I remember." I can't believe I forgot paper! We will be having our... I think 5th surprise quiz for this semester under him. Can you imagine that? 5th time!! This professor is such a burden. 

"Way to go, Anne! Too funny!" 

What? 

"That was gold, Anne!" 

Huh? Why are they laughing? I looked behind me and saw Christine laughing like a retarded seal! Haha, she looks too funny. I to turned my head to the right and see... What is this? Everyone's really laughing and having these weird distorted faces. Oh-kay? What's happening?

As I turn my head to the left, I am again lost in a perfect view. In whose perfection? Well... In his. 

I blinked. And when I opened my eyes, i find him staring back. Oh, his dark brown eyes, they're the most beautiful crystals I have ever seen in my entire existence. His lashes brushing through his skin when he closes them are too magnificent of a scene. And that smirk. Oh, that smirk. If smiles could really kill, then go ahead and bury me! Actually no, don't. I'll marry him, first, and have lots of children with him, then you can mourn over my body. Hihi. :D

"Anne..." his soft gentle voice that tickles my heart. Oh, too playful, and yet too handsome. Too manly. Too... Too Aaron. :") 

"Yes?" Was that a cold reply? Well, I have to at least sound like I don't care, right? For pakipot purposes, of course! I couldn't just be too giddy in front of him. 

"Everyone's busy laughing at you, do you realize that?" Realize what? Hell-oh?! I don't freaking care as long as we're talking... 

My silence seemed to piss him off. He stood up, packed his things and grabbed my left arm... Look, I like you but hey, no grabbing! Unless it's a hug... (Oops! hihi.)

"Where in the world are you taking me?" Unfortunately, he has lost his hearing.  Ugh. He continued walking and walking and dragging me wherever he wishes to go. Can you imagine? We still have a quiz to take. I can even hear our professor shouting our names!

Annoyed, (I am annoyed, okay? Even if I'm alone with him in this... where are we?) I shouted at him, "LET. ME. GO!!!" And he did... "Or don't."

"What?" He asked.

"H-huh?" Gosh, did he hear that?!

"I heard you say something. What was it?"

Oh c'mon!!! You heard my whisper and when I was asking you with my voice at it's highest awhile ago, you didn't? 

"Are you a douche?" then my hands automatically went over my mouth. Why did I say that? Readers! Help me on this. 

"A douche?" Okay that's just it.

"What, you're suddenly deaf, again? You're such a pain, Aaron!" I don't know why, but I just can't stand his arrogance right now. 

He smirked. Again. Gosh, I hate how I can't hate that smirk! Anne!!! Hate him! You're pissed! 

"You look cute when you're mad." And he winked. Universe, I'm melting, right here, right now! 

He walked closer... and closer... and closer until there was only a 5-inch space between us. "Especially when you say my name." He said with eyes staring directly at mine. Looks as if hypnotizing me... Hypnotizing me to love him more.

"W-what d-do you mean?" With my heart trying its best to get out of my chest, with my mind shouting plenty different thoughts, and with my voice shaking, I still managed to say it. 

"I mean..." He leaned forward. Subtracting 3 to awhile ago's 5-inch space in between. Trust me when I tell you this, readers. I can't breathe. And I don't know what to do at this point, but to close my eyes.

I heard him chuckle. And felt his breaths on my right cheek. Then he whispered, "I mean, I like you, Anne." Then his lips... On my right cheek. His warm, soft lips, lightly touching my skin. 

I know it's short and quick... But it's special. 

I felt him stepping away, then he said, "You can open your eyes now, miss." And so I did. Only to find him on the other side of the road. What's he doing in a flower shop?

I was about to walk toward him when he shouted, "Don't you dare crossing the road without me!" What? Why?

Then he hurriedly ran back to the other side where I was patiently waiting for him. He has a long-stemmed red rose on his left hand, and as he reached me, he wrapped his right arm around my waist and said, "It's not safe. I can't lose you. I have to always be by your side. Okay?" Then he handed me the rose.

Now tell me, how can I not fall in love with this awesome sweet guy? He held my hand and kissed it gently. Then he said, "Anne, I love ----" 

"ANNE! Are you really testing my patience?!" 

Ugh! Mr. Delos Santos is such a dream killer! I'm so hating on you, right now! I can't believe he poked me out of fantasy. Well, don't get me wrong here, okay? I thought it was real, too. I thought he was really kissing me. I thought, finally, we have the same feelings. So much for wishful thinking, huh?

"Sorry sir." I said. Then we continued on taking our surprise quiz. And I continued on living in the reality - on the real world. On the world where me and Aaron are just classmates, seatmates, friends, and, well, JUST friends. 

The bell rang, signaling our class is finished. That means, I have to go home and wait for tomorrow to see and talk to Aaron again. 

I grabbed my bag, dialed my best friend's number, and walked toward the door. It was approximately my 7th step when I heard Aaron calling. 

"Anne! Wait!" I turned around and saw him panting. Why did the heavens make such masterpiece? Even in sweat and heavy breathing, he still looks good. He still looks perfect. Perfectly Aaron. 

"Why?" I said.

"I... I just want to..." I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow. Why is he like this? He's making me nervous!

Supposing he noticed that I don't have any time for slow sentence delivery, he gestured me to 'chill', with his both hands raised in front of his chest, as if stopping me to get pissed, he said, 

"Can you just please wait for me to finish?" He pleaded.

"I don't have time! I have to --"

"I LIKE YOU, OKAY?!" He revealed. Shouting. Along the hallway. With many of our classmates witnessing. He went closer, and handed me a... What's this?

"I figured you would want red roses. But I only got you one, because I know you're different from any other girls. I know you're unique. And this long-stemmed red rose suits you not because you don't deserve a bouquet, but because you're like this rose. That even I searched the whole flower shop, I'll only notice this one. Even if I searched the whole universe, I know, there will only be one Anne."

What should I say? I know I have been asking for help from you, readers, but will you please offer me hand on this one, too? 

I have no words, but these, "It's not a dream, after all, huh?" I whispered, while smiling back at him.

His dark brown eyes and thick brows glowing, changed to questioning. Then I said,

"But if this is still a dream, can you please let me sleep... forever?" I just can't believe this. what if it's not? What if ---

He smiled and shook his head no. He leaned over me, held my face and kissed me... on the lips. Then he whispered in my ear, with his calm soothing voice, "I love you. And it's real." 

I knew that instant, I will be living my days in reality. No more daydreaming. Because he already crossed the thin line between my dreams and the real world. Although it seemed impossible, he still did it. And I love him more because of that. 

"I love you, too, Aaron."

Then we sealed our feelings for each other with a hug. With a tight and long hug. Gosh, we're hugging! It's too surreal, but he made it real. 

This is real... Finally. 

That is the question

"Mahal mo pa ba?"

And then my mind went blank. It was as if I was alone in a dark-pitched room, with the moon shining on a glass window as the only light.

And then she asked again, "Mahal mo pa ba?" I was sitting straightly on a chair but felt like falling on a cliff. Mahal... it echoed repeatedly on my head - torturing my feelings.

It sounded so simple, yet required a lot of effort. A harmful question I would always want to avoid. But today, I couldn't.

She looked at me with eyes waiting for an answer, and I looked through forests, swam through oceans, just to give her what she wants to hear. Pressured, I just shrugged and said, "Hindi ko alam." 

As soon as she nodded, I turned my back and hoped to never hear that question again. Because I'm afraid that one day, I could answer it with just a plain yes.

Wrong match.

Plain black skirt, blouse, blazer, and a pair of high heels are my typical companion everyday for work. But today, I'll skip all of that. Let me try this floral dress I bought last week from my favorite boutique, plus this pair of pink sandals... Oh! I almost forgot, my favorite yellow purse decorated with laces. He gave this to me before exactly three years now. I hope he remembers.

I looked at myself in the mirror and realized, I finally reached every goal I set for myself. I have everything I dreamed of. Well, except for one. 

I grabbed my car keys and headed towards the door... Then I went back, left my keys on the table and went out. A walk in the park is healthy, right? Besides, a day out from work isn't going to kill anyone. 

Sun, shining so brightly, clear blue sky, plus soothing wind blows, equates to a great day. I missed this. It has been a while.

The last time I walked around here was with him, during midnight. Actually, it was a 'run'. I was wearing a pink long gown I borrowed from my sister and a six-inch heels. he was on his unbuttoned black suit and loosened tie. If my memory serves me right, I think it was after his friend's birthday party. We were running on the street because it was past my curfew.

"Ugh! My heels are killing me!" I sat on the ground gasping for breath then I took those painful shoes off. he looked around only to find out I was steps behind from him. He hurriedly ran back and kissed me on the forehead. "I can't let my princess walk barefooted," I remember him saying with the sweetest smile I have ever seen. Then he lifted me up like a husband carrying his wife after a wedding ceremony - a perfect moment. I clung my arms around his neck and leaned on his chest. It was a ---

"Miss, can I help you with anything? We have vacant seats inside." Look where my feet took me. I'm standing in front of our favorite coffee shop - where we first met, where we first talked, where I said yes. Silly feet, of all places! 

"Miss?" Said the middle-aged lady on an apron with a menu in her left hand, snapping my soul out of dreamland. "Uhh, yes please, I would like a cappuccino." 

I headed towards our favorite spot. Couple of minutes later, my order arrived. This place is still the same. Same chimes on the door, same curtains, same kind of flowers, and same wooden furniture. I took one sip from my coffee then felt the sides of the table... Yes, it's still here. His masterpiece, "Allan and Lucy".

I don't care if people think I'm crazy right now. I just can't stop smiling from the thought of our story. It was here. In this shop, in this table. He was sitting in front of me, looking down straight to his coffee while stirring it slowly. I can never forget that day. Every detail, every word. Everything about the 12th of February.

"Was that a yes?" He said. I only smiled. Then, he started carving our names on the table. "You officially said yes. Now, I declare this table to be our witness." I saw it in his eyes, the authenticity of his smile. And even if it's four years past from now, it still registers clearly in my head. "You have to swear on these carved names that you'll never take your 'yes' back." I could only laugh at his silliness back then, but I swore on it anyway... "I will never take my yes back. Never from you." I promised.

Here, in our favorite place in town, I said my first "I love you". This table as our witness, him as my... Enough. I should go. 

And just right on cue, my secretary called. "Cancel all my meetings," just like that, I hung up. I left money on the table, straightened my dress, and went out of the coffee shop. This place... It gives me so much to remember. I need air.

Eyes on the ground, hands in my pocket, slow, light steps on the sidewalk. I don't really know where I'm going. Maybe going for walk today isn't a good idea for me. 

"Ouch!" a loud shout of a lady made me turn my head up. Next thing I know, she was on her knees, picking apples on the floor then putting them inside a bag. She has golden brown hair and a fair complexion. it was maybe until ten seconds after I came back to my senses that her shout was because of me.

"Sorry miss..." I went down to help her. She just smiled and said it was okay. Oh she's really beautiful. I would date her if I'm a guy!

"Honey?" That voice... "Are you okay?" I felt his steps moving closer. But I'm too afraid to know who's talking. He stepped a little closer and offered his hand to help the lady up. Well, I assume, his girlfriend? Wife? Whatever. 

I stood up by myself, said my apologies again, and turned back. "Lucy?". I'm stunned by that voice. It is such a calm, gentle voice that runs through my skin... The same voice I heard four years ago...

"Lucy please. Don't do this to me."

I don't want to, believe me. But I have to. "Let me see the world, Allan. I'm not ready for this yet. I have a lot of plans for myself. I can't..." I stopped. I couldn't say it. I already hurt him too much, I can't afford to cause him another pain. I placed my hand over his and lightly squeezed it. But he took it off.

"What about our plans?" Hearing those words is like seeing his soul escape from his mouth. I wanted to catch it, but when he looked at me with tears trying not to fall from his eyes and held my shoulders tightly, I knew I couldn't save him from this pain anymore. He has always been my shield, my protector, and this is the first time I'm seeing him so helpless. 

"So I was never included in your plans, huh?" He let go of my shoulders and stepped back. "You are! I only wanted to foc--" His terrifying punch on the wall shut me up. Without facing me, he said, "I get it, okay? Now will you please get out?" Did I hear him right? No, Allan --

His hand over my shoulder brought me back to present. "Lucy is that you?" I can feel his hand's tenderness. Nothing changed. It's still warm and... and I missed it. I closed my eyes, then the first teardrop falls. I wiped it with the back of my right hand and forced to smile before I face him. "Y-yeah."  One word and it took me a whole lot of strength to utter. C'mon Lucy, that was four freaking years ago!

"Long time no see! It's been awhile. By the way, this is my wife, Dianne." Oh. He's married. Great! Just. Great. 

"R-Really? Well, you look perfect together. What can I say, a beautiful wife for a handsome... h-husband!" Then another fake smile. 

He looked at his wife and wrapped his arms around his waist. Look how proud he is to be with her. Maybe if he could shout his feelings for her right now, he will certainly would. Such an envious heart I have. 

As Allan continues telling their love story, my mind is lost on this painful sight. "We met on a party. Right, honey?" The way he looks at Dianne... It's the same way he looks at me four years ago.

The way he holds her hand, as if he will never let her go, the way he talks about her... I can see it in his eyes... It's the same way he talks about me with his friends - with full pride and respect. 

"Hey Lucy, do you know I'm soon to become a father? Dianne's 3 months pregnant!" That's what I just needed to hear to have the courage to leave. In the first place, I don't even know where I got the guts to stand in front of them... or just, in front of him. I can't believe I gave up on this guy. 

"We're going to this cafe, wanna sit and chat?" Sit and chat? I would love to do more than that with you. With you alone. But no, "U-Uhh... Nah, I h-have to go. I have a lot of things to do." 

I waved and turned my back when suddenly I heard him say, "Okay, Philippines' greatest director is too hectic. Haha! We understand. Take care, Lucy!"

It was as if I was shot and paralyzed. The honking cars and noisy people around me seem to disappear in an instant. I could only hear Allan's and Dianne's steps gradually vanishing... Then I turned around. 

This is the second time I watch him walk away. Only now I can't do anything to make him come back. I can't even open my lips and tell him all the stories I wrote and published. Such a disgrace for the Nation's most successful director. You're a disgrace Lucy. I gave up on wanting to be his wife, of building a family with him, of being with him, just to reach this position... To reach my dreams. But until now I don't know if my decision four years ago, was right. 

Today, February 12, is supposed to be our sixth year. I'm wearing my floral dress with my favorite purse, went to our favorite coffee shop, and saw my favorite person outside... With his favorite girl. And realized, yes, we are indeed the perfect example of a wrong match. 

PS: This is a product of my imagination and my imagination, alone.

Same person, different beginning.

Even if we're miles apart, or even if I don't know where exactly you are, I have the feeling of you being near. Of you being just right here. I don't know, maybe because of the thought that somewhere, we're still looking at the same sky, that somewhere, we're still standing on the same ground. That whatever happens, or how many moments may pass, we're still on the same earth. And I gotta admit, these thoughts make me feel good. Somehow, it makes me think that someday, in any circumstance, or in any twist of unpredictability, we will meet again. 

I surrendered our story to fate a very long time ago. And for the first time in my life, I let destiny handle most of my love story. I do now what I think I do best. I keep myself occupied, enough for me to forget about you and us. And I gotta tell you, I think I'm doing pretty well. But, if by any chance, Fate makes its first move and let our roads cross again, I'll pretend nothing happened. 

Yes, I have a lot to tell you: Stories, rants, jokes, questions, but most of all, stories - You know me, I talk a lot. However, when we meet again, I'll act as if it's the first time. I'll act as if we never met on that gate on the 3rd of February. I'll act as if I didn't hear you sing. I'll act as if you never put that gift and that letter on my locker on the 13th of January, a Friday.... I'll act as if I didn't know you. 

Don't get me wrong. I'll do that because I want a fresh start. A freshly baked friendship, maybe? Isn't it a good idea? By that moment, we are already free from hatred, from pain, from everything happened in that almost a year relationship. And by that moment, we will be different people, meeting on a different place (Nicer than gate 3, I hope! Haha) creating a different beginning. Awesome, isn't it? 

So, wherever you are, whatever you may be doing, I still feel you - because we're still on the same earth, breathing the same air. And if we're lucky enough to meet again for the first time, I know, fate will do its magic. 

Same people, creating a new different beginning - I want that. :) 

Dream real.

When I was in the middle of staring at nothing during a night of cold breeze and flooding memories, someone walked to me and asked, "can I have a seat?"

As the ocean kisses my feet, and as the wind blows my hair, I turned around and faced him. He was there, standing still. From looking straight at the waters, he looked down and smiled at me... But I turned to face the beautiful nothingness again.

I ran my fingers slowly at the fine, smooth sand, and drew a heart... But the waters swallowed my craft. I felt him sitting beside me, but I didn't bother to look. Instead, I gazed upon the heavens. Counting the stars. But an outstanding, luminous, celestial body, with a significant distance from all the other stars, caught my concern. Then I thought, "How can one still shine if everyone has left her?"

"You just have to keep on shining because someone somewhere can see your light... And if he does, he will search for your light and eventually reach you."

Flabbergasted, I faced the voice who reacted. it was him, the guy who asked for a seat. Though my eyes were full of question and wonder, he answered me with a smile. A smile, though was given for the second time, was still beautiful and bright. 

Then he spilled with another query, "have you ever met your dream guy?"

Again, he made me startle... Have I? I searched for an answer, but it seems to have escaped even beforehand... The light radiated by the moon grew bolder and the wind blew harder. In a snap, it was as if I was carried back to the vanished days. The days where there was nothing but laughs and happiness. The days before the chaos and clash of pride. Those days before my fragile heart was taken off carelessly. 

Then I uttered, without facing him, "My dream guy would be someone who has a broad shoulder. Who has devilish but beautiful hazel eyes that will speak for his heart. And I will be standing on my toes when I hug him just so I can reach him." 

I sensed his movement facing me, but I still chose to look at the glimmering waters... It has been quiet for awhile. Too quiet I can hear every breath he takes. Too quiet I can hear drum sessions and banging in my chest. 

Seemingly with a mind of its own, my right hand extended to my left cheek... To wipe the rain coming from my eyes, I didn't even know was there. 

Then I continued, "but all I ever dream for a guy, is to be someone real."

I looked up to the heavens again and then felt these tiny droplets of water. Is this God's way of saying he sees me? Drops fell on my face, mixing with the waters secreted by my eyes. I thought, maybe God can hear and understand what my mouth can't say? Maybe... He feels me.

The rain is gradually becoming heavy... I stood up. Then the guy looked up at me. He was still sitting there. Before I go, I said, "Unfortunately, no one has become real before me. So I guess, no... I haven't met my dream guy, yet."

Then as swiftly as I could, I ran. Leaving the guy who has a breath-taking smile alone. Without knowing his name, I didn't look back...

"Keep your shine with you! I'll reach you again someday!"

My feet suddenly got tired of running. Loud beats from the heart were faster. And unconsciously, my lips formed a weird convex shape... Three times he shocked me. But this time, I smiled. 

Then, I ran back to him. :) 

PS: This is a product of my imagination and my imagination, alone. 

Love is enough.

Pag-ibig - Yeng Constantino ♥

"Pang-habang buhay ang pag-ibig ko sa'yo. Oh sinta, kahit na may kasalanan ka, iiyak ako pero papatawarin ka."

I fell in awe with this song about a year ago (I think) mainly because of its lyrics. My favorite line is written above. It sums up everything about love - forgiveness, acceptance, humility, courage, strength, and trust.

When you love, no matter how many times your partner makes mistakes, you will never get tired in understanding him, in forgiving him. Because you want him in your life.. and no matter how much pain he causes you, you just won't care. Why? Well, because you love him that much. That's just it. Love is an enough reason to forgive. 

You accept him as he is. No buts, no doubts. Because when you love, you overlook the imperfections. You see the person perfectly. Your friends may disagree with you, but you become blind. Actually, not blind. In love, you are aware of the positives and negatives your someone possesses, but you just won't mind. Why? Well, because you love him that much. That's just it. Love is an enough reason to accept. 

In love's vocabulary, pride does not exist... Love is selfless. If one truly loves, sacrificing his/her ego is nothing because what's more important for him/her is keeping his girl (or her man). During fights, the one who says 'sorry' first is not always the bad guy. He just value you more than his pride. And to tell you guys honestly, that's indeed a plus! And if one truly loves, he will not brag about what he has, rather, he will share them with you. He will remain humble. Why? Well, because he knows that all he has is nothing compared to when he has you... And that because he loves you that much. That's just it. Love is an enough reason to keep your ground.

When you finally choose to fall in love and give your heart away, you have to be ready to face all the consequences, the trials, the disappointments, the pain. That bag full of strength you have now? It won't be enough. So you have to earn hell more a lot of it. You'll be needing it together with a sack full of courage. Be brave. Because there will be situations and sometimes people that will break the two of you apart. And all you have to do is to fight for each other and hold on. Why? Because you love each other that much. That's just it. Love is an enough reason to fight. 

If one truly loves, doubts shall have no room in the relationship. Because if the two of you decided to be with each other, you have to always think that the other loves you as much as you love him. No questions asked. Because that's how love works. That's just it. Love is an enough reason to give yourself up - to trust.

Take time to listen and understand the song. It is really pretty, I tell you. ;) Well, aside from it is well sang by Yeng Constantino, the song tells a lot about how love works. How love forgives and forgets. How love sacrifices. How love fights. And how love makes us brave. :) 

Things.

I keep everything...

From the gifts, the letters, the flowers, the candy wrappers, the messages, even that piece of paper you glued on my locker pointing the bouquet above... I still have all of those.

The letters are kept in a box and placed under my Television set. The messages are still in my phone. The flowers are placed on my mirror desk. And that cute little purple stuffed toy? Well, I still sleep with it every night. 

I placed everything in sight to be reminded that I once had a perfectly beautiful love. That I once experienced an extraordinary feeling. That once in my very random life came a guy who actually did something beautiful for me. And from the bottom of my heart, I thank him for that. 

I placed everything in sight to be reminded about the good moments and to learn from the experience...

That not all perfectly beautiful love is perfectly right. 

Besides, love doesn't require perfection. It just requires courage. :)